Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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