drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
