Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
