i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
