okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
