now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
