Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
