Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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