Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
