college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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