We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
