You made me cry and you don't even care
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
