I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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