Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
