We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
