I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
