Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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