a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
