when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I could make wine with my vomit
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
