you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
