listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The air was thick with penises
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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