My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Drake has all the answers
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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