how can u be prego again
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
