I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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