I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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