Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
