Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
