Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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