you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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