She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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