Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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