did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
