In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
