what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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