A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
