There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
