i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
