Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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