i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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