They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
