She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
