Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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