She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
