I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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