please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Randomize
