Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
