i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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