Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
