The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
