Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
