franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
