am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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